I'd still side with love

better believe I'm fearless....

I am rediscovering Colbie Caillat's album Breakthrough. One of my favorites. 

You say it's easier to burn than to build

You say it's easier to hurt than to heal

But I say you lose when you give up what you love 

And I've lived my life without you long enough.

I can't imagine what it'd be like
Living each day in this life - without you.
Without you.
One look from you I know you understand
This mess we're in you know is just so out of hand.

Whoever you are,
where will you be?
Are you the same old dreamer
I've been waiting on for me?
Waiting for love,
waiting for the same old dreamer
on the other side.
Hoping no matter how far,
I'm gonna find my way to you,
following a rainbow.

Cause I'm walkin down this road alone and figured all I'm thinking bout is you, is you my love
And my head is in a cloud of rain and the world it seems so far away and I'm just waiting for
The droplets, droplets

[Henry and I performing Droplets a couple years ago]

I miss those blue eyes, how you kiss me at night
I miss the way we sleep
Like there's no sunrise, like the taste of your smile
I miss the way we breathe

But I never told you what I should have said
No, I never told you, I just held it in

And now I miss everything about you
I can't believe it, I still want you
And after all the things we've been through
I miss everything about you, without you

If that's the way you love
You've got to learn so much
If that's the way you say goodbye

And this is how it ends
And I'm alright with it
You're never gonna see me cry
Cause I've cried

So go on, go on and break my heart
I'll be okay
There's nothing you can do to me
That's ever going to burn me

So go on, go on and leave my love
Out on the street
I'm fearless
Better believe I'm fearless, fearless

and that is only the first 8 songs.

the best.

ALSO: 

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

[Perks of following disney on Facebook]

If it's between love and losing,

To never have known the feeling,

I'd still side with love

And if I end up lonely

At least I will be there knowing,

I believe in love.

xx

when life brings trouble, you can fight or run away

relax and watch me float away

xx

every little thing, is gonna be alright

Birthday videos from some really cute kids.

This one is of the kids I used to nanny for, Henry, Alice, and Sally! They are so darling! I miss them so much! Totally made my day getting this video!! (: Thanks Becky <3

This one is of Gianni. I don't think people understand how much I love this kid. He is hilarious. I received several birthday videos of him but this was the best quality. This is Gianni saying happy birthday in his monster voice. (:

people throw rocks at things that shine

life makes love look hard

As of yesterday, I am teaching myself how to play the ukulele, my new project. It is a work in progress, but I am making it happen! I have learned two songs so far (both by Taylor Swift haha), 'Ours' & 'Fearless'. 'Ours' is a bit easier because I don't have to switch chords as quickly but I am still needing practice. Made my first video though. Enjoy, and please be forgiving (:

the stakes are high

the water's rough

but this love is ours

xx

call me a safe bet, i'm betting i'm not

you say you wanted a solution,

you just wanted to be missed

This weekend was amazing. Perfect birthday weekend. Every morning this week Kaitlyn and I have been getting up early to go on a run/walk. We both aren't exactly marathon runners so it is nice to switch it up. Being the day dreamer that I am, I always enjoy a good thought-provoking stroll, and what better place to do it?

Friday mornings are even more special because I get to go to the Temple with Cary's ward (My second Dad, Emily's Father). I really needed to feel peace this week and I was able to find it there. It's a beautiful thing.

I was able to go surfing again (as mentioned in previous post). Turtles galore. And then there was the carnival! Still haven't uploaded those pictures... one day. 

SATURDAY

Saturday was SUCH a good day. We woke up with the intentions of going surfing, but decided to try something new, something I have wanted to do for quite some time (even before I came to the islands). WE WENT PADDLE BOARDING! Okay, okay. I know its not the craziest thing I could have done but it was so much fun! And, if I do say so myself, it was a very nice core work out! I didn't fall once, which I was honestly pretty surprised about, considering I have completely forgotten how to stand on a surf board. 

The swell on Saturday (even in Haleiwa) was too large for us inexperienced paddle boarder's so we were only allowed in the river/ the bay. We probably saw 10+ turtles in that river, including one of the LARGEST ones I have seen, right next to my board! One day I will get over the 5-year-old thrill of seeing one up close, but it was so AWESOME! 

After paddle boarding we were all starved so we went over to Kua 'Aina and had some delicious burgers. They were SO good! I wasn't even in the mood for burgers but now even writing about them is making me hungry. Yum. We had to stop by Mililani so we were able to get some Starbucks as well. Perfect, I know. Did I mention that Em and I were rocking out to Brand New and Taking Back Sunday the whole way home? Typical. Brought back some excellent memories (:

I got back to Laie at around 6:45 and had to shower and run to the movie theater for a 7:10 showing of Chasing Mavericks. Don't ask me if I liked the movie, because I won't be able to tell you. At 7:45 I got a text from Emily saying there was a tsunami warning and we had 2 hours to evacuate. It took me about 20 minutes to actually get up and leave (I felt really bad). I followed their car to a nearby ranch and we camped out for a couple of hours, only to find out that there was no real threat to the islands. Oh well! Better safe than sorry I guess!

I'd be lying if I told you that I wasn't just a little stressed out.......

Then there is today. We were supposed to have stake conference this morning but it was cancelled, so my dear little sister (basically) Abby called me 5 minutes to 10 and told me I had to come to church with her and Peter at Cary's ward. I got ready to go, took me about 10 minutes, so I was a little bit late. There were some really good talks, I am glad that I could make it! 

Have I mentioned that I LOVE the Wasden's? I am extremely close to my family and it can sometimes be hard to be so far away from them but they make it so much easier! They were so sweet and made me celebrate my birthday again today with a fantastic cake! Chocolate sour cream I believe it was? Seriously to die for. I ate more than I have in a long time, and I didn't feel sick! It was fantastic. 

The fireside was great. I have to admit I was a bit distracted, but the testimonies that were shared were touching. 

Ah, just finished my iced tea and now I must retire to my bed. Early morning beach run tomorrow (: 

So excited to go!

 This face was too good to pass up.

 The whole crew

So spoiled.

So good.

come back and tell me why

I'm feeling like i've missed you all this time
And meet me there tonight
And let me know that it's not all in my mind

[goodnight]

xx

now take it in and don't look down

If you love somebody

Better tell them while they're here 'cause

They just may run away from you

You'll never know what went well

Then again it just depends on

How long of time is left for you

I have figured it out. It makes so much sense now! I can't sleep because I don't have a tempur-pedic mattress here. Does that make me spoiled? Maybe. But its true. I haven't slept without one since I was probably 10 or 11. Sad, I know. But there is no point in me buying one here! Especially because I have no idea how long I will be here. 

Moving on, yesterday was fantastic. In my previous post I told about my surfing adventure but I FAILED to mention the turtle that was right next to me while I was surfing! Some keikis saw him and came to surf by me because they said turtles were good luck. I did catch a few waves so maybe they were right ;-). 

Last night we went to the YSA bi-stake carnival. It ended up being really fun! I have some really funny pictures of us doing the bungee run that I will have to post later (they are on my t4i). Side note about the bungee run-- I was up against Abigail and a boy named Conner, who (gasp), is an OREGON DUCKS FAN. Yes, I couldn't believe it either. I would like to proudly report that this Husky alumni beat him in the bungee competition, it was almost too easy! Somehow I ended up sitting on him at the end too... he ended up in my lane? Weird, I know. 

At around 12:30, I begin to get a little tired and cranky (I woke up at 5:30 am yesterday after all). So I dragged my people out to walk to my car, and because I LOVE stars so much, they convinced me stargazing was a good idea. It was. There was no way I was going to last as long as my last stargazing adventure, but it was still a good time. 

Time to start my day. Instead of surfing we decided we are going paddle boarding this morning! I am so excited. I have ALWAYS wanted to try it! AND this is a sport I can do back home in Seattle! Or anywhere with water for that matter. I will continue to surf come next week. (: I'll let y'all know how it goes.

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

And I will try to fix you

xx

with a word she can get what she came for

And all my walls stood tall painted blue

But I'll take them down, and open up the door for you

And all I feel in my stomach is butterflies, the beautiful kind

Making up for lost time, taking flight, making me feel right

I am sore. My abs, my hips, my arms. But it is worth it. So worth it, that I am going to do it again tomorrow. Surfing, I am going to go SURFING again tomorrow morning. I figure if I keep at it the only direction I can go is up, right? Right.

I also had an epiphany today. I want to start singing again, but I need a guitar... Mine of course is on the mainland, it would have been too crazy to try to carry that, my three giant suitcases and box on the plane with me here. So what is my plan? To find someone who will not mind me borrowing their guitar during the day. Hopefully it won't be too hard. 

we fall in love 'til it hurts or bleeds or fades in time

xx

so they say it's your birthday

i have never been a fan of birthdays.

Maybe at one point in my young life I was, but later on I realized that having expectations for your birthday usually results in some disappointment. That, and it seems that something notoriously goes wrong on or around my "special" day. So I gave up on making it unique and decided to roll with whatever came my way. Unfortunately my friends always seem to have other plans for me, and I love them for it. 

I am never allowed to not celebrate. Never allowed to ignore text messages, phone calls, or voicemails (though I do have several people I need to call back tomorrow-SORRY!!). Needless to say, I am blessed. My family & friends appreciate me, and I appreciate them way more than they probably realize. 

That being said, I had a swell birthday. Kaitlyn and I decided to switch up our daily morning workout and walk to Subway to take advantage of their buy one 6 inch, get one free (we have been wanting this deal for DAYS! But it is only available before 9am). So after buying our lunch a tad early, we went back home to wait anxiously to eat it. I waited till 11 am exactly. I figured that was late enough to be called lunchtime, right? So good!

One of my best & most dear friends Emily came up from Honolulu to spend some quality time with me. She, Lisa & I went surfing during the afternoon over at Castles. The swell was REALLY mild today, so I only caught a few waves (and I need to work on standing without falling off the board :) ) but I am looking forward to going again this weekend! I also expect my arms to be sore in the morning, I literally have NO muscle on my arms. While I was doing insanity they started to get really big, but then I stopped. Now the most push-ups I do are about 25/day. Maybe if I start Insanity again I will be a better surfer!! Oh, the possibilities!!!!

I didn't end up getting home till around 4-4:30 ish, had time to shower, and then hit the road with my roommates, Abigail & Pedro for some birthday dinner at Opal Thai! I love that place. So homey. The plates are big enough to share! It's really very good. And I love the owner. He put a candle on my plate and made me uncover my face so they could sing me happy birthday! Such a sweet man.

We stopped by Starbucks on the way home and got some CAC- which is actually now CAS (Caramel apple cider, caramel apple spice). It reminds me of Fall even though it is so humid and hot here. We had planned to buy pumpkins at Foodland but they were pretty picked over, and none of us wanted to spend 30 dollars....

Abigail and I went on a walk when we got back and went swinging on the swings by the temple. Anytime I swing it reminds me of swinging late late at night with Emily and discussing all of our current boy happenings. Today wasn't too different! She pretty much knows my entire dating history now (sorry abs!!), lucky girl. 

Last, but most certainly not least!! DESSERT! I really wasn't feeling a cake this year, not today anyway. Kaitlyn decided I still needed something sweet so she bought me pineapple (delicious). And my dear next door neighbor Brit, brought me some AMAZING cookies!! So petite!! Just the right size & just the right amount of sweetness! Love them both.

My day was a good one. I am blessed. And I had planned to go to sleep much earlier but clearly that did not happen. Need to wrap this up so I won't be drowsy in the temple tomorrow morning (:

Here are a few pictures from today:

My dad picked out this card. The hula girl spins like crazy when you open the card. I just love my parents so much!!!

This was my happy birthday sister text. She is mastering the Grinch smile!

 Wearing my new akin shirt, blowing out my candles, the usual (:

Cute note from my roommates (:

 Brit's pumpkin cookies!!! I LOVE THEM.

and she's buying a stairway to heaven. 

[goodnight all]

xx

baby you're something like a phenomena

Today was a good day. I am so sleepy so I will summarize it with three pictures, my apologies if you have already seen these pictures on instagram. 

Sunrise at Hukilau beach! 6:30am      

Dipping my feet in the cold water, so refreshing.

Ending the evening at Bonzai Sushi! (:      

not so bad for a wednesday, yea?

xx

we're beautiful, like diamonds in the sky

shine bright like a diamond.

Today was magical. This morning I had so much confusion, and while the confusion has not actually been cleared, I was able to have a remarkable day. One of those thought provoking, inner-reflection type days. 

At Devotional Sister Virginia Pearce fed us some inspirational food for thought. She taught us three principles: Think big, Thing straight, and Think abundantly. 

Think Big

Change is a constant that we keep bumping up against, almost like elevating yourself to a higher altitude. If you think of big ideas often enough you will consistently bump into God's plan for all of us. 

The point I think she was trying to make in 'think big' is that we need to constantly be looking at the bigger picture. What are we doing right now that is going to get us to where we need to be later? Interesting thought.

"It isn't just getting through the day, it is becoming what God wants us to become...don't lead small lives."

Think Straight

Straight thinking produces peace and joy, distorted thinking produces misery.

This one was a bit harder for me to understand, but I believe what she was trying to say is that our mind is a very powerful tool that can either help us or hurt us. If we are thinking 'straight' then we are not negatively impacting our daily endeavors by our thoughts. 

This one is especially important for me because I tend to be highly critical of myself and it can sometimes bring me down. I have gotten better at controlling that little character flaw, but it is always nice to have a reminder. (:

Think Abundantly

Knowing that there is enough and more for everyone. Refraining from making comparisons between yourself  and others. If we are busy comparing ourselves with others we start thinking scarcely instead of thinking abundantly. Showing gratitude for what you have been blessed with. 

This one was all encompassing. What I immediately think of when I hear "abundance" is the saying, the world is your oyster. Don't limit your lives, your talents, your abilities. Do not limit your creativity. 

Ah! Gives me goosebumps. It was a really good devotional.

Afterwards I took my adopted little sister, Miss Abigail Wasden, over to Haleiwa where we enjoyed some much needed retail therapy and smoothies. Blasting Taylor Swift all the way home was the cherry on top of our afternoon.

I then went and took a nap on the beach with Amanda. Though my naps are always interrupted due to my phone. Its almost as if everyone knows when I am sleeping and they determine at that very moment they should contact me via text. Can't complain though, I love them all. 

After the beach we made the trek to Starbucks. My long lost love. The only one of its kind on the North Shore! The Foodland over there is a TON better than the Laie Foodland so we did some grocery shopping as well. 

And only to FURTHER add to an excellent day, Pretty Little Liars had their Halloween special and it was AMAZING! Can't believe they are making us wait till January to find out what happens. I also just realized that I will have a new New Girl to watch tomorrow (: (: Oh, happy day! Love that show. She and I share a likeness in our ability to be awkward. 

What will tomorrow bring? 

LANIKAI JUICE (: (:

freckly shoulders!! (:

I seriously can't believe I live here.

"In God's world there is enough and more for everyone."

xx