The late hours of the evening are never a good time for me to start writing. Alas, the evenings are the only time that I ever find the time to write, so here goes nothing.
Tonight I am writing simply because it has been too long. I have had so many female emotions these last couple of months. One of the worst parts of being a female. Or the best? Who knows. All I know is that I have been on an emotional roller-coaster. Not necessarily a bad one. As I write this I realize that I am making zero sense. But I will try to elaborate.
I have experienced a lot in my life, but certainly not everything. Hearing about other people and their trials help me to realize that mine are small in comparison. However, my experiences have helped me to develop a pretty thick skin, maybe too thick?
Here is my problem: I have a very difficult time shedding tears. I don't know what it is! Some might regard this as a good thing. It could be, I suppose. I just find it frustrating. There are times when I am genuinely sad, angry, or just exhausted, and all I want to do is cry. It is almost as if I won't allow myself, like I have programmed myself to get up and move on.
Sometimes this solution works. Other times the hurt just gets swept under the rug for a little while until I am reminded of it again.
Is it so strange to want to cry? Probably. At this very moment I am not even sad, I just think it would be refreshing. Like raspberry lemonade. Yum.
That's about enough from me tonight, maybe I will get some time to write tomorrow while I am not so sleepy.
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